tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1102074904092679169.post4194551019633969208..comments2020-07-09T03:16:14.762-07:00Comments on In the write mind.: A star for youQuirinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16452348531020187202noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1102074904092679169.post-1624900801860988062011-05-04T08:39:36.864-07:002011-05-04T08:39:36.864-07:00A refuge from the appearances of calamity that lif...A refuge from the appearances of calamity that life tosses at oneself and those one loves. A beautifully sustained act of faith expressed in one scene of cosmic nurturing unfolding after another in Earth settings enbosomed in a friendly Universe.Gerard McHughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03995443569398253865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1102074904092679169.post-55491993211834532602011-03-01T15:01:33.910-08:002011-03-01T15:01:33.910-08:00Quirina,
By incorporating mythologies you've ...Quirina,<br /><br />By incorporating mythologies you've raised the passion between the two to a sort of Olympian epicness. And yet along side you focus on dynamic things: the mists condensing, passions, the eons (time), the waves altering the shore. <br /><br />It sets up an intriguing conflict between permanence and change. <br /><br />In these lines, I like how the internal rhymes mimic the rhythm of waves: <br />Walking on land that the Miocene Epoch brought,<br />where rock is ground offshore, onshore and alongshore, <br />for each other we are fraught,<br />with gems of heart and mind, loving to explore more and more.<br /><br />I even noticed it in the structure of the poem. While you adhere to a strict rhyme scheme (Olympus), the lines vary widely in meter (transience). Did you intend this?<br /><br />I feel the poem could be stronger if a few of the rhymes (nearing, searing) hadn't been as forced, and if the meter had been a little more regular. That could just be me though, and it could be (as mentioned above) you intended that dissonance. In which case, well done – you've revived a conflict in my soul :DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1102074904092679169.post-34898451574347183422011-02-25T06:38:19.351-08:002011-02-25T06:38:19.351-08:00Beautiful & intriguing poem that, I think, is ...Beautiful & intriguing poem that, I think, is brimming with your essence. You have tipped soulful love, mythology & science into your poetic crucible & poured out a poem of gold. Thank you Quirina.Peter Wilkinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12955283590189985306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1102074904092679169.post-50461329365371206842011-02-24T10:47:39.136-08:002011-02-24T10:47:39.136-08:00Just so beautiful and calm. It takes you to a happ...Just so beautiful and calm. It takes you to a happy place! Thankyou :)The Linnethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17709373300621371888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1102074904092679169.post-27856818326815456932011-02-23T10:47:03.725-08:002011-02-23T10:47:03.725-08:00I think I have never read a love poem before where...I think I have never read a love poem before wherein pi and the Miocene was included ... :) But seriously, sometimes we can feel the utter beauty of the universe reflected in our love. Wonderful poem!Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17564210453026152076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1102074904092679169.post-69941547665551485462011-02-23T08:08:42.903-08:002011-02-23T08:08:42.903-08:00Great Poem, lots of classical references and pulle...Great Poem, lots of classical references and pulled together neatly, to express your emotion. Great work, thanks for sharing.Iliteratepoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17431180811452080718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1102074904092679169.post-79738650412694801712011-02-23T06:43:01.226-08:002011-02-23T06:43:01.226-08:00like the ocean itself, with a calm, mighty seniori...like the ocean itself, with a calm, mighty seniority, this poem unfolds a wide collection of scenery, sounds and feelings when reading. The way it is crafted creates the sensation that it is the me, myself who is the subject on the shore, who's experiencing all the love feelings. Wonderful!Edjohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13304831246727558823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1102074904092679169.post-18579223450032810082011-02-23T03:48:30.258-08:002011-02-23T03:48:30.258-08:00Beautiful, romantic and classical. I wish I could ...Beautiful, romantic and classical. I wish I could write like this. I'm transported - thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com